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发表于 2012-4-2 21:17:00 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |正序浏览 |阅读模式
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you are in need.




As the saying goes,no one is an island.Life places us in a complex web of relationship with other people and our humanness arises out these relationships in the course of social interaction.When choosing friends,I tend to agree that it's more important to choose friends that could have fun with those will help me.

Firstly,from my perspective, a friend that I could have fun with can provide the settings which meet most of my emotional  needs.We may share the same hobby, enjoy reading the fiction novel written by our favorite writer and talk night over night about our joy and sorrow,in the way that we are meaningful to each other.The friendship between us is established on the basis of laughters ,happiness along with  mutual need and are formed when we emotionally invest ourselves in and commit ourselves to other people.Through the association with people who are meaningful to us,we achieve a sense of security ,love,acceptance,companionship and personal worth,and all  sense of well-being.


Reflecting in my own experience with Lucy,a friend I met on the Internet.We are both super fans of a rock band and it is the common taste about music that links us to each other.From the online conversation with Lucy,I obtained a sense of acceptance and companionship that just circled around in my mind as Lucy and I share most view about the rock band we love and other pop music.It is rather the happiness and fun from or common interest,but not whether Lucy can offer me some help or solve my problem that our friendship are based on and make Lucy my bosom friend .However,  the relationship with the people are useful when we are in need is just formed when we "cooperate" with other people to achieve some goal without endowing the relationship with any larger significance.

Secondly,the friendship between friends who can have fun with one another can lasts longer.The happiness people enjoy makes possible a subtle exchange of ideas and feelings and ties with people can usually deepen as they interact across time.However,for those who accustomed to turn to friends when confronted with troubles,the status in their friendship is not equal.Always being in a receiver or a giver  pose an negative impact on the relationship as the help giver may feel bothered when having a trouble maker as a friend and in turn,the receiver may become more and more relied on his or her friend for

resolution,finally losing the ability to decide on himself or herself.

Look closer,moreover,to the situation.In the relationship with friends who can receive help from ,people perceive their friends as means to ends rather than the ends. Additionally ,they may be involved in the relationship when they come for a specific ,practical purpose,even profits.How can we equate this kind of social relationship based on a pragmatic goal with the friendship based on the exchange of ideas and feelings and emotional connections?When it comes to friends we enjoy a fun,direct ,cohesive relationship with ,we see people as ends in themselves and value in their own rights.,which the true meaning of friendship lies in.
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